Stories & Lifestyle: rules of etiquette in the US

You can't argue with the fact that the giant USA has something to offer for everyone - and you should always adjust to different customs in a foreign country. The cultural diversity in the US makes it rather difficult to define rules of etiquette that apply to the entire country. However, there are some basic rules that you should know for your visit.

Everyday interaction Interpersonal relationships - whether they are between the sexes, loose acquaintances or close friends - are subject to certain, sometimes very strict rules.

Americans, for example, always introduce themselves. Let's say you meet a friend on the street and he has someone else with him, you will all exchange your names and some pleasantries. It may get a little tense in case a man is to say hello to a woman he doesn't know. Many European women are a little irritated when the men won't offer the usual handshake. Conservative Americans, however, feel that it is the woman's right to make the first step here. On that note: cutting in line is just as frowned upon in America as it is here.

Political correctness is vitally important for all interactions. All remarks that sound even a little like sexism, racism or something similar are frowned upon. Trying to be nice and paying a compliment to the a lady may quickly be misunderstood as sexual innuendo and the political correct term for the black population in the US is African-American.

Invitations and events In case you are invited to someone's home, a bottle of wine is always a nice present - and will be immediately opened and offered. Don't be surprised if you are asked about your income or wealth - that is normal conversation in the US. They are a lot more easygoing about the topic of money than we are - if you have a good income, you don't need to hide it.

If an event is "black tie," it doesn't necessarily mean that you actually have to wear a black tie - it just means men should be wearing a tux and women a nice evening gown.

And if you are invited to a "shower," don't bring a towel. This is a party that friends organize for a bride or a mother-to-be. The purpose is to shower that person with gifts.

If you are invited to "pot luck dinners," bring some food and maybe beverages as well. Invitations like this are common practice in the US.

In a restaurant Quite frequently, there is no free seating in US restaurants. You will usually be seated. Also, please don't ask other guests whether you may sit with them. This is an absolute no-no in the US. Tables will never be shared with other guests.

The same applies to pets - dogs will usually have to stay outside, due to sanitary considerations. However, if you leave your dog in the car, you may have to pay severe fines in some states.

The US is a service-mecca. This means, of course, that quite frequently waiters in the restaurant will introduce themselves by their first name. You will usually reward this service with a 10% tip, for many waiters this is the only payment they receive. If the service is especially good, you may even tip between 15 and 20%.

Another custom is to only eat with the fork and keep your other hand in your lap. Americans cut up their meals first, using both hands is considered to be greedy.

In case you need to go to the toilet, better don't phrase it quite like that. It is more polite to ask for the "restroom" or the "ladies" or "men's room."

The general rule for paying the bill is that in case a man and a woman are eating together, the man will pay the bill. If you are eating with a group of people, only one of you will pay the bill. However, the others will be expected to invite everyone else in turn soon afterwards as well.

And in case you don't finish the meal, don't hesitate to have it wrapped up and take it with you (at least in most restaurants). Even in the better restaurants it is customary to take the leftovers with you in a "doggy bag."

On the beach Even in the land of opportunity, there are some very strict rules for the way you should behave on the beach. Generally speaking, please keep in mind that Americans are a lot more prudish than Europeans. Topless sunbathing is an absolute taboo, if you do it anyway, you might have to pay severe fines in some states.

It is often considered to be offensive to let children run around naked at the pool or on the beach. Better always bring bathing suits for your kids.

On that note - men should rather be wearing the Bermudas-style ones, not the speedos that are sometimes worn in Europe, they are too revealing.
In addition, almost every US beach has changing cubicles and restrooms. Always go there to change, the European towel-technique is rather unpopular there.

Like everywhere in the world - there's no rule without an exception.